April 11, 2007. Gentle Reader, Does your divorce have the hallmarks of a prima facie case* of disastrous divorce? If you experience any of the following, your case fits squarely within the definition: your lawyer is doing all the talking; you haven't got time to take a walk but you do have time to bad mouth your child's parent to anyone and everyone who will listen (and its getting harder and harder to find anyone who will listen); you have already spent more on the divorce than you did on the wedding with even less to show for it; you can't fall asleep; you've got your lawyer arguing about household furnishings that are worth less than his or her hourly rate; you've lost your self-respect, your dignity, and have only the most tenuous grasp on what remains of your sanity.
If the above description is all too familiar, here is the antidote. Stop, breathe, get a grip. Ask yourself: what do I want my life and our children's lives to look like one year from today? Make a list of what will really matter to you one year from today (or if you are a left brainer create a collage). When you take the long view, the trivial falls away, and you uncover the things that really matter, and I can promise you they won't be things. When you discover (remember) what really matters by thinking about your life in the future, take another deep breath and start the divorce over. And yes, you can start over.
*From time to time I like to throw in some impenetrable Latin Legalese to remind gentle reader of my general superiority. Black's Law Dictionary defines prime facie case as: The establishment of a legally required rebuttable presumption. Who knew? Diane
